Thursday, July 15, 2010

Wal Mart In The Parking Lot

There are some things that you just have to do when you're a 'merican. One of those things is going to the yearly spectacle that is the County Fair. You have to eat funnel cakes, corn on the cob and some variety of deep fried cheese. Throw in a root beer float or a waffle cone and you're all set. Make your way to the barns and poke some bunnies/pigs/goats/sheep/heifers/ponies/llamas/alpacas and you can go home at the end of it all with a smile on your face.

If you make fun of a carnie or two thats just icing on the cake.

RV has been in the great land of 'merica going on 6-8 years now I think. I found out only yesterday that he'd never been to a county or state fair. With a bit of help from Sofie we finally met up with them. Thank you Sofie. This was a major problem that needed to be solved.

He needed to experience the wonder of the county fair.

A few things made it a true Dane County Fair though.

1 - Katie inevitably wanted to buy each and every bunny she saw.

2 - After repeated crushing blows Katie swiftly moved on to getting Sofie to buy a bunny. We'll see how that progresses.

3 - A chicken tried to eat RV. We called him the 'King Cock'.

4 - I wanted an African Runner Duck. Katie obviously agreed and then I had to sadly crush my own dream so as not to be THAT family with anywhere from 6-17 Hermit Crabs, 4 Bunnies, 1 Goldfish with a bulgy eye, 1 partially blind African Dormouse and 1 puppy spawned straight from Satan himself...and an African Runner Duck. Not yet.

5 - We almost lost RV when he went off on a mission to find a Root Beer Float. His mission took him directly past two other carts that sold Root Beer Floats.

6 - I got yelled at by a Funnel Cake salesmen named 'Pikkie'.

7 - The soft serve Carnie looked down Katies tank top and immediately forgot how to do basic math. Yes, they are THAT powerful.

8 - RV and I are gonna go back at night and steal all the holds off of the climbing wall. They look brand new and Boulders needs more plastic.

9 - We saw Mr. Sweatpants himself. I'm sure of it.

10 - On possibly the saddest note of the night I found out that I was the only one that couldn't go on the "Amazon Adventure". Damn those 150 pound weight limit rides!!!!! On a positive though I think that only .0002% of all Dane County Fair attendees could actually get their Amazon Adventure on.

Wisconsin is not a svelt state. That is guaranteed.


  1. Wisconsin is state #24 in Obesity. Actually that's not as bad as I thought it would be. Now you know why though. Mississippi is #1 and Colorado is #51 (they included D.C.).

    Sounds like fun. ce

  2. I'm not sure how I got chosen to be the pigs ass... there are so many other pigs asses that frequent this site that you could have chosen from. My feelings are hurt.

  3. HAH! Don't worry sweaty, RV took many pictures of different pigs asses. There will be more. Many more.

    Sad that you didn't get to climb rocks when you came through. when are you driving back??

  4. DAMMIT MAN! I need you to step it up good sir.

    Also, when are you getting hitched?

  5. september 5th my friend. it has been a very busy summer indeed.

  6. Did you register for the Calvin Klein bedspread, or Ralph Lauren? Martha Stewart towels, or LaCoste? I need to know. ce

  7. Katie and I registered for M & M's. Sadly, we did not get them.

  8. LOL! That is hilarious. We can all pitch in and buy Sweaty and his unfortunate fiancee some M&Ms. ce

  9. i am registered for an organic full and a half pad... in my mind. somehow that request has not made it onto the website/website. sad

    I suppose i will settle for some delicious chocolate covered candies.

  10. Steve Dew is gettin hitched this fall too, and he just mentioned to me a couple days ago, "is it wrong to ask my buddies for an Organic Big Pad?" I can only imagine the female irritation that would follow such a "wedding gift". Unless it was Katie of course. She would dig it. ce